To Fred Jr, Please return……..Love, Romeo

Ok, so it wasn’t huge……….and the picture quality is bad because I was screaming and standing up on the four-wheeler but it was a RATTLESNAKE!
Not only was it a rattlesnake but a BABY rattlesnake! What freaks me out about that is probably all the things I have heard about baby snakes…..so I have done some “myth-busting” on my own……here is what I have found out.

My fear #1. Babies are more poisonous than an adult.
I WAS RIGHT!!!!!!!!!
Rattler babies have venom, short fangs and are dangerous from birth. In fact, they are more pugnacious than the adults. Although unable to make a rattling sound, the youngsters throw themselves into a defensive pose and strike repeatedly when disturbed. http://www.desertusa.com/may96/du_rattle.html
My reaction:
WAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

My fear
#2. Snakes don’t just have one baby…..don’t they have litters? Here is what I have found on that as well.
RIGHT AGAIN!!!!!“The eggs hatch inside the rattler’s body and then she gives live birth to her young. A reproduction system of this type is called ovoviviparous. The female rattler may contain from 4 to 25 eggs, from which an average of 9 or 10 hearty young are born live. “http://www.desertusa.com/may96/du_rattle.html
My reaction:
NINE TO TEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I MUST MOVE!!!!!!!!! THEN THOSE BABIES HAVE BABIES!!!!!!! WAHHHHHHH………….

My fear #3. They will leave you alone…….they are afraid of you more than you are afraid of them.
RIGHT!!! Snakes live in a world of eat or be eaten. They take one look at us, and “think”, “I can’t eat this thing, but its big enough to eat me.” As a result, they are very much afraid of us. http://www.trailquest.net/SNsnakes_us.html
My reaction:
WAHHHH!!!!! I DON’T CARE…..I’M STILL SCARED…..I’M SMALL……MY KIDS ARE SMALL!!!!!!!

My fear#4. All snakes are hideous and therefore must be destroyed!
WRONG!!!!
A few years ago I was looking out of my upstairs window and saw what appeared to be a snake across my driveway. I said to myself…..nahhhh….that couldn’t be a snake because it would have to be over five feet long as my driveway is wider than that and it is spanning the width of my driveway, it must me a crack…….THEN THE CRACK SLITHERED!!!!! What ensued thereafter was pandamonioum, panic and just plain freaking out. My cousin came over who was visiting from Ohio and killed the snake that I was sure was going to kill my whole family.

I was assured that we had saved the day and called my father and showed him these pictures knowing he would probably frame them and leave all the earthly possessions he had to me. Before you look, If you gross out……it’s gross…….

My Fathers reaction was not to change his will, except maybe in the reverse order of what I was expecting, and to state…….”That is Fred………..we need him……he kills all the bad snakes!”

I explained to my father that would be hard to explain to my friends lounging out by my pool why Fred was curled up under their pool side chair…..and I continued on with my mission of NO SNAKES….until I just found this little tidbit.
http://www.desertusa.com/may96/du_rattle.html
Predators
The King snake is well known for being immune to the venom of many pit vipers, including rattlesnakes. Rattlesnakes are part of the King snakes diet. My reaction:

WAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I WAS TERRIBLY WRONG!!!! I KILLED FRED!!!!!!!!!! I’M DOOMED!!!!!!!!!!

SO WHERE DOES THAT LEAVE ME?? I MEAN I’M LIVING ON WHAT NOW MUST BE RATTLESNAKE ALLEY?????

Here is where Romeo comes in……………

As I was standing up upon the fourwheeler and screaming…… my gallant “Romeo” took his flip flopped attired self off of our safe perch and proceeded to protect his damsel.

He bravely killed the slithering, poisonous, venomous, spawn of Satan. With just a tree limb and flip flops!!!!!

Then Romeo threw the “spawn of Satan” away into the woods where his 9 or 10 brothers and sisters live with their now 7 foot mother and father who want to avenge their baby………

WAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And then he gave me this sweet, precious, glance……..Which I would like to take the time and define, as I know it looks like a glance of………….”get the heck off of the four-wheeler and help me and stop that hideous screaming about all the baby snakes having all crawled up in the engine and other nonsense…..and it maybe even looks a little like……the ‘what have I gotten myself into face’…”

I know my Romeo though…….and his face was really saying……..“Oh Juliet……..I love the fact that you are so scared and I can show you my manly ways……I will enjoy the fact that you will drag me everywhere with you afraid that there will be “spawns of Satan” waiting and hiding in every corner…..I will enjoy this time with you and how it will strengthen our relationship. How fun it will be for you to scream into my ears until they are ringing and I have to stop and peer at every batch of sticks to make sure there are no poisonous snakes lurking. This is what my heart beats for”

OK…….WRONG.…..after he got me to sit back down on the four wheeler and examined our immediate perimeters for baby snakes to ensure me they wouldn’t start flipping up at us from inside of the four wheeler, ready and in attack mode once we resumed our ride……I believe in looking back over these photos his thoughts were more to the point of……….

“Why the heck did she kill Fred?”

Yep….Romeo……I got you figured out…and you are right!!!!!

So from Romeo and myself, I send this message. Dear, Fred Jr and Family we offer our sincere apologies. We miss your father and husband. We ask for your family to please return! I will explain to my friends that you too are a friend when you are curled up under their pool chair. Please know that you and your family will have a place of safety to live. Romeo, will ensure that and we both ask for you to please come back……please. We beg of you…I’m serious….I think Romeo wants some backup. Sincerely……”

Fred Jr. please come home, we both need you!

Love,

Me……….. and Romeo


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