A birthday party, turtle and a neck brace.

Birthday party!!!
Baby girl….21…..I am speechless.
I’m not ready to let go.
The day she was born was the scariest, best day of my life.
It was uphill from there……but this part is getting tough.
My heart hurts.
I want her to be little again and to climb on my lap…..and to dream of the day she would “grow up”.
Not face the day that she has.
Ugh…..
TURTLE……..
A first…..
Tonight we found this little turtle by the pool.
We have lived in the country for years.
We have seen turtles.
We have never found a baby turtle in our yard….never had one by our pool.
After Freebirds party one of her friends showed us the baby turtle by the pool.
Is God giving me a turtle to replace the loss of my baby girl?
Ummmm……….I’m not feeling it.
My daughter loved it
And
It is in a bowl in our kitchen.
Ugh…..
NECK BRACE
Honestly?
Doesn’t it make this day more wonderfully emotional, by scrolling through my pictures and seeing this.
I need help.
Afraid my hair is going to go up in flames?
Scared she is going to spit on me?
Calling out to all turtles by moving my neck like one?
Ugh again….
Speechless.
Love, 
Me

0 thoughts on “A birthday party, turtle and a neck brace.

  • April 11, 2011 at 1:28 am
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    So cool! Loved the turtle! 🙂 and I know exactally how you feel! My oldest will be 17 in June! Where did the time go? I have a 17 and 15yr. old boys! Hang in there! It’ll get easier!

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  • April 11, 2011 at 1:43 am
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    Oh my gosh that last photo did make me laugh. My son turned 13 this week. I know 21 will be here before I know it.

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  • April 11, 2011 at 1:57 am
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    OMG I love the last picture!
    My oldest is 17 and she is constantly reminding me that soon she will be 18! Not looking forward to 21 and beyond.

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  • April 11, 2011 at 2:25 am
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    My daughter will be 21 in July…she got married last August…if I could go back to mine being babies again I would do it in a heartbeat! I would hold them more & clean house less…my heart hurts, too…but what can we do! I love your blog…I swear some days you say what is bouncing around inside of my head!

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  • April 11, 2011 at 2:33 am
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    Cherie…..I did NOT love that last picture but I knew you all would. Why do I do that? From 18 on mine reminded me that she was an adult…..she just told me this weekend….she wishes she didn’t have to grow up. I could have told her that if she would have listened ; ) Love, Me

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  • April 11, 2011 at 2:34 am
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    Stacey….you are not kidding. So many regrets which is sad to say. I guess we can just live todays and tomorrows like we don’t want anymore regrets. Girl….if you are anywhere next to what bounces through my head….get a counselor ; ) Love, Me

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  • April 11, 2011 at 5:12 am
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    Pricelass picture! And yes, I think your daughter was going to spit on you or maybe throw up. They get that way when they turn 21. My son will be 21 in September but has been throwing up on me since he was a baby. First it was the formula now it’s the beer! Will it never end? And I think the turtle was a sign – to remind us that we are getting old! I actually feel like a turtle most days. Seriously though, look after your baby girl. She still is a baby and always will be. Hope you all enjoyed the party – that cake looked yummy!

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  • April 11, 2011 at 2:15 pm
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    This is why they make “turtle” necks…. it was a sign Rebecca!! Only kidding!! I know how you feel… I’ve had a few pics like that… ugh is right… that’s why I click delete when I see them… not share them on the internet!! Happy B-day to your girl!!

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  • April 11, 2011 at 4:43 pm
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    Rebecca,

    I think that you are holding a heavy, dense, moist yummy & dellicious cake and balancing it to keep from losing it – hence the straining neck muscles! My daughter is 31 and I have no idea where the years went. They did go by way too fast. I can say that being a mother changes as children get older and the relationship goes to a new enjoyable and fun level. But – they never stop being our babies, no matter what age they are and we never stop being their mothers. =) The party looks fabulous! The turtle? Well, good luck with that!

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  • April 11, 2011 at 6:16 pm
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    You should see the picture Lizard got of me laughing the other day. It was like the old turtle in Never Ending Story when it sneezed… ODD and will be deleted.

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  • April 11, 2011 at 9:15 pm
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    I’m laughing so hard, tears are streaming down my face….that neck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  • April 11, 2011 at 9:15 pm
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    If I have your email I just made a laughing video for you to prove it!!!!!!!

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  • April 11, 2011 at 11:25 pm
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    Too funny as usual!! So what’s with you and the turtle pictures?? Wasn’t there a comment about that at your son’s party?? You crack me up! Looks like great cake. My oldest baby girl is 45 now so you have a looong way to go!! She’s still my baby though!! BTW….your daughter is a beautiful replica of Mom, I’ll bet everyone agrees on that!! I know youre proud of what a lovely young woman she has become!! Take care, VBg

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  • April 12, 2011 at 2:23 am
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    What great advice…I need to remember that so much! And I DO love you!!!

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  • April 12, 2011 at 3:50 am
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    VBG…..apparently I have an issue I was not aware of. I pull my head back in ALOT of my photos. Just some happen to be worse than others. Pretty isn’t it ? ; ) They will always be our babies! She is way more than I could have ever dreamed for in a daughter. Love, Me

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  • April 12, 2011 at 3:50 am
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    Kolein….your laugh is contagious….and if I ever figure out how to embed the video and it finally works I will share it ; ) Love, Me

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  • April 12, 2011 at 3:52 am
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    Isabell….how does my daughter take that comment with a picture of me that looks like the one on this post? ; ) BTW….CONGRATULATIONS on your husbands job and I do NOT believe that is your last quilt! Love, me

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  • April 12, 2011 at 3:54 am
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    Paula….you are so right and only because i am wearing a jean jacket could you not see that my biceps were totally straining from that SUPER DUPER HEAVY STRAWBERRY CAKE! ; ) I do love all the levels…..but I miss so many of them as well. Love, Me (it’s really me ; ) )

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  • April 12, 2011 at 3:55 am
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    Creative Ambitions…..This is why I live in turtle necks in the winter. Don’t know why I have this turtle neck issue with photos. I guess sharing them on the internet really may NOT be the best idea ; ) Thank you for the birthday wishes for my little girl! Love, Me

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  • April 12, 2011 at 3:56 am
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    Anji…I BET that was it! She was a spitty baby! We did enjoy the party and cakes were super yummy…..that strawberry cake was only topped by the 15 layer chocolate cake…..Mmmmmm……Love, Me

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  • April 12, 2011 at 12:41 pm
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    You are a truly brave and honest woman posting that pic! I mean, really I love ya and all, but I would burn that picture and recast the memory so that your neck is simply a graceful shadow complemented when your hair is billowing ‘just so’ as freebird gently blows out her candles, at which point there would be a little twinkle cast in your eye from the gathering of a tear not yet fallen…. 🙂 MUCH better. Burn it baby! 🙂

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  • April 12, 2011 at 6:34 pm
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    ok, well on the UP side…when I first saw the pic of your daughter…I thought it was you! 🙂 I had to really look closely. (does that make up for my other comment yet??)
    love ya!

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  • April 13, 2011 at 4:52 am
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    Aawwwwww……you are so sweet!! I can’t say that I blame you though, she is sure a cutie!!

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  • June 24, 2011 at 2:36 am
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    All I noticed was the cake…really, until you pointed it out…I love turtles, had them as pets for years, hehehehehe…

    Reply

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