I have struggled with this post.
I have struggled, because of my choice to have my blog be a place where we can all come and just, relax, laugh and share.
I have struggled because of the growing numbers of readers.
Even over a thousand or two in one day at times……
It is humbling…..it is scary.
I have struggled because in portraying only the funny times…..
I worry that you do not know that in my own life…..there were times, I could not laugh.
And I have struggled because I don’t want you to believe that I haven’t had to experience all seasons.
I struggle because I know that if you believe you are the only one that is right now experiencing pain or loss or financial despair or death or sickness or heartbreak, then you will believe the lie…..
That you are all alone.
I have struggled because this real life post, hits in between a “giveaway” and a regular post.
I have struggled although I know that real life “hits” the same way.
A phone call, comment, situation hits us right in the middle of “real” life.
When we least expect it.
A new season begins.
And although the timing seems wrong…..I know that is what makes it so right.
I struggled…. because if I share the season in which I am in right now…..
It is NOT funny.
It is desperately sad.
It is heartbreaking.
It is a crushing heartbreak, for close members of my family.
But it is the truth.
And to tell you the truth….you must know this weekend I hugged my cousins goodbye.
I hugged a man that will never be able to hold his 35 year old daughter again in this life.
I hugged his wife as she held their grandson who is less than one year old….
I watched a beautiful….heartbroken fifteen year old daughter sit on the floor with her cousins.
I struggle sharing this because it is so deeply personal….
So deeply opposite of what this blog is “about”……..
Such bad timing…..but real.
And I know in my heart, that if you are reading my blog and believing my life is perfect or always funny…….
Then you are believing a lie.
And you feel that you are all alone.
And to the know the truth…..
You must know,
I struggled, because this past weekend…..
The father that I hugged…..his 35 year old daughter…..she ended her own life.
And the 15 year old with her cousins……her daughter.
The grandson in the lap of my cousin…..her baby.
And at the moment that her life ended,
I am sure she believed…. that she was all alone.
That the world would be better off without her.
In the moment…
It was so real to her…….so crushing…so desperately lonely…….that she believed it.
And it was not the truth.
It was not the truth.…….
I wish I could have told her the truth.
I don’t know that she would have heard me.
And I don’t know that if you are hurting, that you will hear me.
But I must take this “chance“…..because you have been listening to what I have been saying.
I must tell you the truth.
This blog will be a safe place for us all to land.
A place where we can laugh.
But at this moment.
You must know this.
If you are hurting in any way…….
You are not alone.
I have felt despair, financial hardships, betrayal, loneliness, depression, heartaches, sickness and cried deeply until there are no more tears.
I have felt and lived those seasons.
And they are seasons……
There were times when I heard the “whispers of defeat”.
When I felt all alone.
But I held onto the TRUTH.
I want you to know the truth about this blog.
I can make you laugh…..but I cannot bring you JOY.
I can give you a safe place to land…..but I cannot give you PEACE.
I can encourage you.….but I cannot give you true HOPE.
And if you are in the waves of life right now……and sometimes it feels like you can’t get a good breath….or as if you are being pulled under and you are too tired to fight life anymore…
And maybe…you will hear the TRUTH of this blog.
You are not alone.
And if you believe anyone would be better off without you.
Then listen to me.
This past weekend…..I saw the faces of those that would cry out to you and say……
That is a lie.
And you are not alone.
I have never asked any of you to forward out any of my post but if you know of one person that is feeling pain…despair…..or that may feel they are all alone……
Please share this with them.
If you have ever experienced pain in any way. Loneliness or just hurt……your comment may comfort others.
This post may be for you, right now in “your” season……
This post may be for you to comfort others in theirs.
My hope is that we can tell them together.
That we can share more than laughter.
My prayer today…. is that this blog becomes not only a place for us to laugh but a place where we can heal.
Please forward, comment, share, post, link, or do whatever you can to get OUR message out.
I believe it is why we met.
To my family that gave me permission to post this…so that others may know they are not alone.
I love you.
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PPS. If you are reading this past post, there are more current posts and I would love for you to catch up. Follow us on facebook or sign up for emails. If this post touched your heart in any way …..please share it with others. Maybe it will encourage them.
I would love to hear from you. Love, Me