My shorts are too tight.

The evening started with…
“Honey, do you want to go out front and sit by the fire?”
Problem number one.
I really intended on relaxing.
For real.
BUT…..I see this when I pull out the leg rest……and the “shabby” problem rears it’s ugly little head.
Romeo could see it in my face.
Before he can relax in front of the fire……..
or
get his radio to his favorite station…….
or
park his Diet Dr. Pepper by the chair….
I have pulled out this.
And he knows………
There goes relaxing.
Wanna see?
Is this going to be pretty or what?
I can’t wait to get them finished!
I’m wondering if the dark wood will be rather toasty in the sun on our hineys……
What if the black pool furniture and the “now” dark Adirondack chairs are all too hot to handle this summer?
Wouldn’t that be awful?
I didn’t think of it until now.
That was smart wasn’t it?
I’m afraid they will be.
I also have a funny feeling that come next year…..
The Adirondack chairs will look close to this again.
I’m telling you, the sun is brutal here.
But that’s ok…….good with the bad………
So…quickly….what I did……..
And
Because my tutorials are so ” ku-rap-py” I don’t usually show you everything I use when I’m on a paint roll.
I am going to include some things that seem trivial but may be important…..
Because today is a different day.
And it’s my new blog resolution.
To provide better tutorials.
But don’t worry, they won’t be complicated.
I am too simple…..or lazy…..
Mind if we all stick with describing me as sweetly simple?
So much better than lazy.

But
I wanted to share my other little goodies that are usually a part of my projects.
The apron I wear when I cut the men folks’ hair.
Handy dandy pockets….fitted little style.
I wear this apron or another black one if I am not wearing my paint clothes.
Which sometimes happens when I just up and decide to start a project…..
Like I did tonight.
The apron was quicker than changing clothes.
But the coolest thing that is going to be my best friend on my “art” projects……
If I am going to share this little goody…….
I have to confess something.
I am the slop-piest painter or stainer.
I can’t help it.
Well, I probably could…..but I’m lazy….I mean sweetly simple.
But 
If I am painting or staining, it is ALL OVER ME when I am done.
My hands are dry and tight from scrubbing them after every project with Goof off and a scrubby pad…..
I got these wipes for sloppy paint job spills and splatters but tonight I tried it on my hands

AND
WITH THESE WIPES……..
The stain just came right off.
No bad odor.
Sudsy little towel.
LOVE THEM!
Unless I read closer and find out they aren’t supposed to be on the skin.
Wouldn’t that be my luck?
Matter of fact….don’t try them on your skin just yet…….let me check the bottle.
Anyways.
I want to try to finish the chairs tomorrow……..
I need to figure out what will be my final top coat.
I’m thinking about just “oiling” them.
I am afraid waxing won’t work as these are in direct sunlight most of the time.
Got any thoughts on the final coat?
Like the change?
I am hoping to get them finished tomorrow but remember the couches I have been waiting for?
Well, don’t get your hopes up….but I may have found them!
They are used so I’m not sure if they will work out or not.
I hope they do.
So, I may not get these finished tomorrow night.
Oh yeah.
The reason I had to stop at one chair.

My shorts were too tight. 
I realized that the dizzy spells and gasping of breath during this task was telling me something.
Besides the fact that my legs looked like big ole Boston butts bulging out of my shorts when I was squatting in front of the chair and staining it.
I felt it was best to stop this project before the neighbors called the law.
It was bad…….real bad.
The fitted apron was a little too fitted over too tight shorts.
Pretty sight I tell ya’.
I am calling weight watchers tomorrow.
For real.
Now wash that vision out of your head and tell me what you think about the chairs.
Can’t wait to hear your thoughts.
Love,
Me

0 thoughts on “My shorts are too tight.

  • May 4, 2011 at 2:29 pm
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    Again, it looks amazing! I would go with oil and really let the wood ‘drink’ it in as the sun most often dries wood out completely. I would even see if they needed oiling twice to make sure the wood has had enough fluid.

    Reply
  • May 4, 2011 at 3:17 pm
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    I love it…I can’t wait to see all of them. I love how they look when they have just been stained…so pretty! We have been shopping for Adirondack chairs…just haven’t made up my mind! The Ammish that live near us build them & we haven’t had a chance to go check theirs out. I saw what a great deal you got on yours at Lowe’s but ours doesn’t have them (never fails)!

    Reply
  • May 4, 2011 at 3:24 pm
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    Gorgeous! I think you just need to buck up and deal with a hot hiney in these chairs because they are so pretty. Form before function and all….Oh wait. 😉 Seriously, it looks fantastic!

    Reply
  • May 4, 2011 at 3:41 pm
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    Those are beautiful!! I think that i will try that color on my adirondack chairs…plus, I will be headed to the store for the painters wipes!! Thanks for the info.

    Reply
  • May 4, 2011 at 3:55 pm
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    You are sooo funny, girlfriend. I start laughing before I even get to the funny part…
    I love coming here…and…your chair looks amazing..:))

    Reply
  • May 4, 2011 at 9:38 pm
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    Well, you know what they say, if it is complicated you’re not doing it right….so rock your sweet simplicity sister. As far as advice on topcoats or bottom coats or whatever coats, I am NOT the person to ask. I am impressed at your industriousness, though (is that a word?) Love the chair!!

    Lori Hamilton
    http://close2bliss.wordpress.com

    Reply
  • May 4, 2011 at 10:43 pm
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    They look great girl! What about spray on poly? Can you use that outside? I have some but left it at the beach so I can’t check the can…..sorry! Take care, VBg

    Reply
  • May 5, 2011 at 12:53 am
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    I think the chair looks great and Denny said to tell you he wants Romeo to take a picture of you in the tight shorts, one with the apron and one without and to post it. hahahaha

    Reply
  • May 5, 2011 at 12:52 pm
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    Bj….sad thing is…..I think my post aren’t funny….so I am SO glad that you find any little humor scraps that are in there ; ) Love, Me

    Reply
  • May 5, 2011 at 12:53 pm
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    That’s the phrase that kept going through my head! For before function…..remind me to tell that to my guest before they file lawsuits for burns on their butts ; ) Love, Me

    Reply
  • May 5, 2011 at 12:55 pm
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    Thank you Joni….tell Denny there was no “Delta Burke” fantasy going on here…..it was plain ole hideous white fat. Must he always be so creepy? ; ) Love, me

    Reply
  • May 5, 2011 at 12:56 pm
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    Like the chair a lot. You have to start wearing stretchy shorts, then you don’t have to worry about the dizzy spells. Oh and you can eat more too. That’s the way I do it. Isn’t there a wax for outdoor furniture? I believe I use to use something from Minwax on my table that sat out in the sun. Lost the table to a tornado a few years back, so I don’t know if they still make the stuff.

    Reply
  • May 6, 2011 at 12:11 pm
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    Thanks for stoping by

    Sew Woodsy and leaving a comment on my sweatband! I love the staining job you did on your chairs! I’d love if you linked them up to Sew Woodsy!

    Reply

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