Happy 4th!

This is a time when families come together to celebrate the Independence of our country….a time when we laugh and share with cousins, brothers, sisters, parent’s …friends.

In light of that, I thought I would share a little family memory of my own. (Some of you that have been around may remember this….but I thought it might be fun with so many new friends)

Trust me….you will want to hear this.

It doesn’t seem that long ago, that our whole family came together to camp on a lake in the mountains of Tennessee. (some photos courtesy of Pinterest)

We had packed up….loaded down with tired children, dirty clothes, an over packed and overheated car and a boat that was too heavy to pull in the mountains.

The roads out of the state parks in the mountains are like a bad roller coaster and when driven with a too heavy boat and overloaded and overheated car……..AND with cranky family members……

Well, those roads…….they are miserable.

 


With a capital “M”.

We weren’t even to the bottom of the mountain when we heard….

Daughter: “MOM, I DON’T FEEL TOO GOOD”.

ME: “CRAP!” (to her Father) “Pull over she is going to be sick!”

Dad: “I CAN’T PULL OVER! THERE IS NO ROOM TO PULL OVER! WE ARE ON A MOUNTAIN FOR PETE’S SAKES!” (TO CHILD) “Relax honey….breathe in and out……just lay back…”

Me: “She is green…we have to stop the car!” (while frantically trying to find anything that may help if we cannot make it to the side of the road)

Me: “Honey, roll down your window and get the air in your face…I know it’s hot in here” (150 degrees hot…we could not run the air because of the over heated engine…because of the over packed car…because of the too big boat we were pulling)

Daughter: MOM….PLEASE STOP….I’M GOING TO BE SICK!

Me to Him: Stop the car!

Dad: “No…relax honey…both of you….it’s all in your head”…..

~too late~ …..and there went the “it’s all in your head theory”

To spare the gory details….down inside of window and car….outside…….and back seat……

No a/c……

Hot as Hades…..

Sick daughter and brother now gag re-flexing like a wild man, sitting next to her in the back seat covered with…..”yucky stuff”.

 

We rapidly made it to the bottom of the mountain and pulled over to clean up as best we could.

I declared that we needed to find somewhere that I could purchase some kind of “Lysol” or other brand wipes to clean everything up….as we needed rid of the smell for the 10 hour drive.

Plus, we need some kind of Sprite and crackers…..for the whole family at this point.


Reminder…..

Mountains  of Tennessee.

Rural.

Rural.

Rural.

We found a store similar to “Dollar General”…..and I ran in and got these….

I heart lysol wipes. Crazy you say?....maybe. lol

Yay! Story over!

Nope…..

I’m never that lucky.

Used to…..when you opened the wipes….they were like the old diaper wipe containers….sharp little plastic pointy pieces….and you could reach your finger down in there to get the wipes started…..

Which I did.

As far as it could go…..

Please note:

The lids have now changed.

For good reason.

This is not my photo.


Someone Else’s.

My finger was totally in the lid.

TOTALLY.

And stuck.

Usually when this happens….you would quickly pull your finger out.

But not when you hit a blood vessel……pinching it and causing the finger to blow up the size of a small………balloon.

Turning purple.

And you are in  excruciating pain almost immediately, with a sudden, purple, swollen, appendage, that is now too big to get out of the hole.

Me: “MY FINGER IS STUCK!!!!”.

HIM: “Pull it out!!!!” We were really good at communication.

Me: “I can’t…..it’s stuck…..oh my gosh…it hurts so bad!”

Him: “PULL IT OUT!” (with a panicked look coming across his face)

Him: “LET ME PULL IT OUT” (yanking…my finger rapidly getting bigger….bluer….and me…greener)

Him: “We will have to cut it off!” (Him running back into the local dollar general to get a knife)

Kids: “Mom…it stinks in here!”

Him: (back and panting waving knives he had just purchased) “OK….let me stick this (dollar general steak) knife in the poky part and make the hole bigger!!!!”

Me: “AAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHH”. (there was no room for even the tip of a knife at this point and any tugging was literally taking me to passing out point AND I have a pretty big tolerance for pain)

Him: “I can’t get this steak knife in the hole”

Me: “We need help…..oh my gosh….look at my finger….I am going to be sick”.


Him: “Let’s just rip it off!!”.

Me: Leaning against the car in a rural, rural, rural, Dollar General “like” store parking lot, in the mountains of Tennessee…….I moaned….“I can’t!”

People had started to watch us at this time and gather around in the parking lot……

My son was still gag re-flexing…..my little girl was still covered in…..”yucky stuff”……and I was standing in the parking lot, with a Lysol lid stuck on my finger WHILE my husband waved a steak knife, shouting and panicking.

Tears began streaming down my face and literally, my vision was tunneling. I then realized we were really not able to get it off my finger

Him: “Get in the car and let’s find help!”

Note: On Saturday….in a rural….rural….rural…..rural town, in the mountains of Tennessee…..it was very hard to discern the location of “help”.

We finally found a place….about fifteen, excruciating minutes later.

I got out of the car and walked into the lobby of the clinic…..full of rural….rural….rural…emergency clinic patients and told the lady at the counter….

Me: (weakly and pale) “I need to see the Dr.”

Her: “Ma’am….you will have to sign in and wait”.

Me: (weakly holding up my purple, swollen to the size of a grapefruit finger, stuck in a Lysol container lid)

Her: “OH DEAR LORD!!!” (RUNNING TO THE BACK)….I could hear and see  people murmuring and literally starting to walk up to me to get a look at the “lady with the Lysol lid stuck to her finger”.


All I remember: Tunnel vision…..my family coming in…..Dr’s surrounding me…everyone in their office coming into the room to look at me….and my finger… and being ushered immediately to a room and being given two options.

OPTION 1: PAIN

OPTION 2: WORSE PAIN

And I had to decide quickly, as they were actually worried about damage to my finger.

I took option 1.

They cut a tiny notch into the hole of the lid….cutting my skin….and the pain…even with cutting my skin….immediately lessened.

My vision began coming back as humiliation spread throughout my whole body.

The Dr. then cut the remaining part and took the lid off my finger exclaiming how there is always a first for everything. And when he thought he had seen it all…..in I walk.

Me: Humiliated…..Thanks?

He bandaged me up and gave me the lecture on being careful with lids….all while chuckling.

I humiliatingly walked through the “gawking” staff and “rural patients” and went to the counter to pay.

The same receptionist that checked me in……found her seat after leaving the gawking crowd that was observing my “operation” and stated…..

Her: “Honey…the Dr. said that was free and for you to be careful on your way home. You have been the highlight of our day!”

Me: “Thank you”…. I think?

My family scurried back out to our overloaded, overheated, overcrowded car and boat and cleaned up the “yucky” stuff and got back on the road.

Once on the road my daughter started giggling….then my son started in and she said…..

Daughter: “Mom….you have to admit…..it IS pretty funny.”

Me: Grudgingly…..”Yes, it is…..and ONE day……I will laugh about it but right now….let’s all just be quiet”.

And they were.

For about five minutes.

Sadly, when we finally caught up with the rest of my family……no one was too shocked. If something like that happens….it usually happens to me.

Not really something you are proud of. 

But today…..I get to laugh about it….again.

Moral of the story:

#1….Don’t stick your finger in these lids….they apparently now even have a warning on them.

You’re welcome for that.

#2……You may burn some burgers….fuss with your family…..but in the process you are creating memories this July 4th weekend.

I hope you laugh today…and laugh hard.

But if it is not so funny at the moment…..we will laugh with you later!

I promise.

Have a wonderful weekend and make wonderful memories!

Love,

Me

ps:
I’m linking up to
http://astrollthrulife.blogspot.com/ (Table top Tuesday)
http://www.notjustahousewife.net/  (Tuesdays party)

0 thoughts on “Happy 4th!

  • July 3, 2011 at 10:12 pm
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    thanks!  I needed this laugh!

    Reply
  • July 4, 2011 at 2:20 am
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    I laughed at your post with tears on my eyes. Thnx. I live in those mountains of Tennessee 🙂 glad the Dr was kind enough not to charge you.

    Reply
  • July 4, 2011 at 2:41 am
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    Janet, I love those mountains…..but so glad you can understand my humor. I believe because it was years ago…the DR was sweet enough to do that…..today may be a little bit different. Stop by more often. Love hearing from you! Love, Me

    Reply
  • July 4, 2011 at 11:51 am
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    You are so funny. Thanks for another laughing start to my day. Sorry it’s at your expense Hon.

    Reply
  • July 4, 2011 at 5:08 pm
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    You are soooo funny I have laughed through this entire post! My hubby looked at me like I was insane but when he read it he understand!! That sounds so unbelievable that it’s a hoot!! I hope your finger has recovered……..
    Hope you are having a great fourth of July! We are having a great time!
    Take care, VBg

    Reply
  • July 5, 2011 at 1:10 am
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    You are the “I Love Lucy” of the blog world!
    LOVE YOU!

    Reply
  • July 5, 2011 at 3:59 am
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    OMG  That is quite a day for you all! especially YOU!  You realize that this day will be regurgitated many times as the years go by… as you grow older and probably many times after you are gone …tales of the Good ole days and all that FUN of traveling in the mountains…Too much fun for just one MOM

    Reply
  • July 6, 2011 at 8:17 pm
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    I just found your blog and I want to thank you!! I have been really really down and can’t remember the last time I laughed. (Am I depressed or what?!!) I have read some of your past posts and I am sitting here laughing so hard tears are streaming down my face. Thanks, love the blog. Deb

    Reply

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