She flew….

I drove upstate to help Freebird move into her new apartment.

I kept it together pretty well.

I arrived Monday and we did NOT stop until I left Wednesday.

About an hour before I was leaving…..

Freebird was getting emotional.

I knew I had to hold it together….for her.

I wanted to grab her tight and take her home…..but she needs this.

I hated that.

And just as a momma bird has to…..

When she would cry…..I would nudge her closely to the edge of the nest with words of encouragement.

And inside, I would die.

When she cried that she didn’t want to grow up….

I would nudge her closer.


And inside, I would die.

And she would look scared…..

And I would nudge her closer to the edge……

And inside, I would die.

I left a roast in the oven, so smells of home would envelope her………

And I walked out the door with my little girl watching from the driveway, with a scared look on her face.

And I gently nudged her totally out of the nest.


And inside, I died.

And she flew.……..

She text’d me about two hours out and said….

“I’m better now. It feels better with the smell of the roast. I finished my errands and coming back home and unlocking the door by myself was exciting.”

She flew…..

And inside, I died

.

I happened to be at the McDonald’s drive-thru when I got her text.

And everything that I had so strongly held together……..

Fell apart.

It started with tears…..until the little boy handing me my Frappe’ asked if I was ok…..

Wrong thing to do, little boy……

Poor thing.

He had no clue what had hit him.

I became a wailing, gnashing of teeth, mourning mother……..

He sort of stuttered, “Did you not order the Frappe’?”

 

I tried to reply that the order was correct and all was fine……..

But I was hiccuping, runny nosed and sobbing……


I just kept saying……”I am fine…” between sobs.

Two confused, bewildered, heads were stuck out the window watching me leave the drive-thru when I left with my Frappe’ and DIET Dr. Pepper….(what’s wrong with that picture?)


And I turned on Dolly Parton on my IPhone…..

I needed Dolly……..I grew up with her and she is my “comfort” music.

Bet you wouldn’t have guessed that?

 

And I cried and cried and cried.

I moved from that stage to Colby Colliat……

Johnny Cash……

Taylor Swift…….

Jack Johnson…..

And ended with Joy Williams…….”The Love of the Lord Endures”.

And I thanked the Lord….

That she flew…….

And I remembered that I had to let go…..

For her to fly.

And I couldn’t hold on so tight…..

Or she couldn’t let go enough to hold onto the HANDS that were outstretched and waiting.

And promised to carry her as They have been.

Another stage…..another chapter in her life.

Thank you friends for being here with me though this.

For waiting on me to get through this chapter.

I have missed you all and love you.

I will leave you with these two songs…..One Freebird sent me awhile ago…and I fell apart when I heard it….

The other comforted me.

Love,

Me

(The videos are home-made apparently….so enjoy the words)
Love, Me again : )

If you are joining us from one of the great linky parties all of these projects came together to make this transformation happen. Catch up on all of these great projects. You can start with the most popular posts to start seeing how pennies and a few dollars made this happen! I would love to hear from you and am so thankful you came by!Like us on Facebook or sign up for email! Stick around! Love, Me

PS. I’m linking up to:

Friday Parties:

http://www.atthepicketfence.com/2011/08/welcome-to-inspiration-friday-no-26.html
http://frenchcountrycottage.blogspot.com/ 
http://commonground-debrasvintagedesigns.blogspot.com/
http://thecharmofhome.blogspot.com/ 
http://firefliesandjellybeans.blogspot.com/search/label/Show%20Off%20Your%20Stuff%20Party

0 thoughts on “She flew….

  • August 4, 2011 at 4:30 pm
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    Reading the lyrics of the taylor swift song… and i am crying. AT WORK! One daughter moving in with her father, an hour away… the other a senior in high school that will be 18 at the end of the year… possibly moving out next summer.  Crying with you!
    Hugs,
    Cherie

    P.S. I hope freebird knows her mom is always there and loves her. Her apartment is FABULOUS!

    Reply
  • August 4, 2011 at 4:36 pm
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    I burst into tears in the grocery store when it suddenly hit me that I could make spaghetti sauce and chili in the same week – oldest son (who’s allergic to tomatoes) had just left for college. I didn’t feel like his “mom” any more – he made it all better by requesting a Halloween costume – he had no idea it was what I needed to hear. Now he’s 33 and I sure wish he’d find a wife 🙂

    Reply
  • August 4, 2011 at 5:16 pm
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    What a BLESSED girl your Free Bird is to have such a wonderful & amazing mother as you.  Reading this has me in tears…been a rough week with my babies (they will ALWAYS be my babies) even though they are out of our nest.  I guess some parts of it will get easier & some parts seem harder to me with them gone.  Not having control over decisions they make is the hardest part to me…not that I am a control freak or anything.  My way is just best because I KNOW from life experience…but they don’t listen.  Any who…shared way too much there but I  just want you to know I have been missing you & thinking of you.  Her apartment is wonderful…you made lots of special memories getting it all ready with her & leaving the roast in the oven was a wonderful idea.  Be strong & take it one day at a time-ok, maybe an hour at a time!

    Reply
  • August 4, 2011 at 6:14 pm
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    Was wondering how things went.  Having gone through this very experience your post brought back so many memories and tears…  I did not think of the roast but what an excellent idea…It will all work out and she has an amazing apartment thanks to your  effort and hard work.  They are never far from our thoughts and they know we are always there for them if they fall.  It’s still very hard to let go even a little…

    Reply
  • August 4, 2011 at 8:00 pm
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    Crying and smiling for you. My babies are 17, 14 and 10. It sure is bittersweet being a momma! Praying for you and your babies!

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  • August 4, 2011 at 8:51 pm
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    I have gone through this also with sons.  It is never easy to let the birdies fly off on their own…but they are fine and they love coming home to visit…which now is so cherished
    KAT

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  • August 4, 2011 at 9:02 pm
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    Bless your sweet heart.  I will pray for you and your daughter.  You know you’ve done a good job, mom.  You’ll never lose her.

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  • August 4, 2011 at 10:14 pm
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    This is just beautifully written, I cried & laughed with you! My daughter is only 9, but my heart tells me that this day is right around the corner. You are both blessed to have eachother! Oh, and the apartment looks amazing, great job!

    Reply
  • August 5, 2011 at 12:05 am
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    The apartment looks delicious…..oh, maybe that’s the pot roast I smell…..you have me boohooing again girl!! My baby girls’ favorite meal is pot roast and I make it every time she is home! What a wonderful idea to leave one for her!!
    I wish I could tell you some wonderful stories about it being fun to have an empty nest but right now my heart hurts too much for you to try.
    It does get a bit easier as time goes by and you can skype a lot! I’ll be thinking of you and hoping you are coping! Hugs, VBg

    Reply
  • August 5, 2011 at 12:09 am
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    P.S. I feel sorry for the youngster at Mickey d’s……Poor kid, he will be telling the story about the strange boohooing lady with the frappe for a while!! Love ya girl, VBg

    Reply
  • August 5, 2011 at 2:21 am
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    Awww, I read the newest post before this one.  Me bad.  Guess this says it all.  She will be fine.  I remember my mom doing the same for me.  I loved her for it.

    Reply
  • August 5, 2011 at 8:45 am
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    You do know now that you will be the talk of McDs for a long time. That poor kid will be telling everyone about the crazy lady who wouldn’t quit crying over her frappe. Freebird’s place looks awesome though. Except for that thing that looks like it has hair sprouting out of it, (the ottoman). I still think that’s what it looks like. Sorry! Buck up little cowgirl. It will get better!

    Reply
  • August 5, 2011 at 8:27 pm
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    And you my dear have a Home Sweet Home….that she will always come home to.  And for the rest of her life nowhere will ever be quite like that home.  But, she will in her own fashion recreate it for hers.  This lovely home is why parting is such sweet sorrow.  I have been going through this very thing since spring and my oldest hasn’t really even left yet. He is in a local college for a brief beginning.  And then what is the hardest; because now I KNOW how brief childhood is, is letting my baby go to kindergarten and this fall 1st grade.  Because very shortly, at some future day, the smallest years drift away so still you don’t even know quite what day they began to quit believing in Santa or playing in the dirt… but it happens and time marches on and then they grow up…..tooo soon.
    Sorry I didn’t mean to bum you out again.  I have been going through this too.:(
    Thanks for showing us her really cool new digs.  She is lucky to have a Mom like you!:)
    Thanks for joining Home Sweet Home!

    Reply
  • August 6, 2011 at 1:10 pm
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    @844f24d4b06e936eb8ab9aa1b70fdf7e  Sweet Sherry…such sweet words of encouragement but what a span of your children’s ages! You will be going through this as well! For a while! Time is passing too swiftly isn’t it? I guess that is another reason blogging is so wonderful to “capture” these moments forever……thank you for hosting Home Sweet Home. Love, Me

    Reply
  • August 6, 2011 at 1:11 pm
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    It was probably one of my most “out of control” moments and I did leave them truly baffled ; ) You are so funny and each time you describe my ottoman, I want to grab my tweezers and look for stray hairs on my face. Love, Me

    Reply
  • August 6, 2011 at 1:12 pm
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    @0e2106f66b0f28685751bb48459d7ea9:disqus  She was really sweet and appreciative and kept saying….”I can’t believe how much you are doing….I am so lucky”………it was sweet. Love, Me

    Reply
  • August 6, 2011 at 1:14 pm
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    I see my mother ache every time one of her adult children leave her home…..I know a mothers heart never changes…. : ( Love, Me

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  • August 6, 2011 at 1:14 pm
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    Hold on tight Connie…….preserve moments…..make memories…….thanks about the apt and we are blessed to have each other! Love, Me

    Reply
  • August 6, 2011 at 1:15 pm
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    @df06828353520f162dc9b885c0311a1b:disqus  You are always full of such sweet encouraging words. Covet your prayers! Love, Me

    Reply
  • August 6, 2011 at 1:15 pm
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    @google-6155ffed56cbdd93d5da2e909883a20f:disqus  If you made it…I can make it! Thank you for encouraging words! Love, Me

    Reply
  • August 6, 2011 at 1:16 pm
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    @0225635aba582754256db8d90fd9a26c  Covet your prayers and your babies are growing up as well! Love hearing from you! Love, Me

    Reply
  • August 6, 2011 at 1:17 pm
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    It is hard…..and to know that we have to let go in order for them to grow and make their own choices……right or wrong…even harder : ( Love, Me

    Reply
  • August 6, 2011 at 1:19 pm
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    I am blessed to have her. It is hard trying to let go of trying to “control” their decisions. For me, I had to really learn to to try to stop parenting “out of fear”…I realized that the harder I held onto them….the more they pulled away…and usually to the choice that was not what they needed to be making. I love hearing from you and your comments always help me get through. Love, Me

    Reply
  • August 6, 2011 at 1:20 pm
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    Oh, Valerie…I so relate! That would have been such a hard thought! Too funny about him now being 33 and wishing he would move to his next stage! Such comfort in those words! Love, Me

    Reply
  • August 7, 2011 at 4:12 am
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    Such a sweet post, both my little birdies have flown the nest, and are now wonderful mature women on their own, but will always be my babies, thanks for sharing at VIF, xo Debra

    Reply
  • August 7, 2011 at 9:10 am
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    Why do you think I carry a tweezers every where I go. When you get my age those, “Hag Hairs”, sprout out in like two seconds flat! Then people really stare! Oh and some times it’s good to lose control. Lets people remind themselves we’re all human!

    Reply
  • August 8, 2011 at 7:48 pm
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    Such a tender post…. My ‘babies’ are already getting so big and my oldest is almost 19… and moved out … but just to the guest cottage across the lawn. It is such a mix of emotion when your babies are old enough to be the wonderful people you always dreamed for them to grow up into. It makes you feel so proud and it’s so bittersweet at the same time that they have grown up so quickly. Sounds like you did a fantastic job raising her and she is doing great on her own 🙂 Thanks for linking up at my party :) 

    Reply
  • August 9, 2011 at 1:33 am
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    Awe Rebecca…I read this and cried.  She is so sweet and should still only be 12!  I loved when she spent time here with Brent…..fun memories.  I miss you guys.  Love you!!!

    Reply
  • August 10, 2011 at 3:20 pm
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    I cannot relate yet, as my son is only 4 1/2. BUT – he’s going to full time kindergarten in 3 weeks! Does that count?  It’s the beginning for me, I think.  Just remind yourself of this: she has grown into an independent, CONFIDENT, beautiful young woman because of YOU! It’s obvious you’ve raised a confident young woman because she was able to move so far away! She wouldn’t have had the guts to do if you hadn’t given her the inner strength to do so.  Good job! Good for you!  doesn’t make it easier, I know. But be proud of who she is and be proud of the wonderful job as a parent you’ve done!  I truly aspire to do the same with my son! Thank you for the inspiration.

    Reply
  • August 21, 2011 at 3:23 am
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    This brought me to tears.  I went through the same thing 10 months ago when my lil girl moved to another state.  It broke my heart, I cried for 2 weeks straight.  Then when I thought i had it all together again she sent me this song, Leaving Home by Katie Armiger.  I think it was another month before i had it all together again lol.  Stay strong =) I love your blog!
    xoxo
    Jeri

    Reply
  • August 22, 2011 at 9:16 pm
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    Why did I read this today!  Crying at work…Mine is just going across town to her sophomore year in college.  But it is still gut wrenching!  Things are never the same…
    Did you write that stuff about birds?

    Reply
  • September 1, 2011 at 2:36 pm
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    I can’t read that! I sure can’t listen to the songs! I’m already tearing up and mine is only 18 months old… I know 18 years is going to go by just as fast!

    Reply

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