Mean/Nice Girls and Busy Year part 3

Our last Christmas celebration was last night. We had a great time and didn’t get home until almost 11:30. We are NEVER out that late. We were party animals!
The kids didn’t go because one cousin that came in town is leaving this morning, so my son only had one night left and asked to be left out, so they could hang out. We were fine with that.
My daughter had a “class reunion” or a small get together for the seniors that she graduated with. So she skipped as well.
Which is what I want to chat about today.
She graduated from a small Christian school. She had attended there since the second grade and there was one girl…….one girl…..that would be “catty” with her. She knows exactly how to get under my daughters skin and make her feel inadequate. She is what you would call a “mean/nice” girl. Says things that appear to be sweet but are like little darts, that find the exact target  and “zing”, “zing”, “zing”…..they make their wound. This girl, graduated top of the class…..was well liked in their small class……but had a few “target” girls that intimidated her. So she always did her best to make them feel inadequate. Like they didn’t belong. Sounds silly….but she would make a point that my daughter started there in 2nd and they had all been together since K4. They would have pictures for the group that had been there since K4…..things like that…..it started pretty early.
My daughter, her main target.
I know they will not be reading this, so I feel safe to share this with you all.
My daughter dreaded going last night. This one girl made her junior and senior year extremely tough. Her senior year….awful. The more my daughter blossomed, the worse the “zingers” became. When she had to live through her family falling apart and divorcing……the “silent arrows” were let loose.
Zing….zing…..zing.
She bucked it up and went last night. I told her to not let this girl get under her skin.
She had seen this girl a few weeks before this Christmas break, which is one reason she was dreading this even more.
She was waiting on tables in her college town and this girl was at a table with a group of her “sorority” friends from a nearby university.
My daughter said, “Hey! I haven’t seen you in forever”.
The “girl” just said “hey”…put her head down and acted embarrassed to act like she knew my daughter. Then that night put on her Facebook…..
.”Saw Freebird waiting on tables at Olive Garden, miss all of my old classmates! Would love to get together”.Sounded like she had chatted away with my daughter…… But it had left my daughter confused and embarrassed like she should be ashamed she was waiting on tables…and she was mad at herself. Mad that this girl could still get to her………
Zing…zing….zing……
I told her to quit giving this girl the power to intimidate her. That she needed to attend this get together or she would regret not going. She asked a friend to go with her for support. Both my daughter and her friend are out going and popular, have other friends. But the old high school dread came back and she wanted support.
I had high hopes.
She text’d me after the “get together”.
“Terrible”. “I will never do again.”
I came home and her friend validated the mean/nice girl comments and how they put Brittany ONLY on the spot and the fact that she was a definite target at the table. She said they started as soon as they sat down and set the mood at the table. That she herself (the supportive out going friend) was totally uncomfortable and had no clue how to help her respond……….that they were let loose….one after another……and totally made their target.
zing……zing……..zing…………
Why? Why? Why?
I feel as if I can handle them better at my age now but still find that the mean/nice girl comments can get to me.
They appear so sweet to others. But you feel their tiny darts hit exactly where they are meant to hit.
For instance….I attended a wedding for a wealthier families daughter. I felt out of place. Worried about what I was wearing and took great pains to wear something I felt good wearing and wouldn’t be insecure in. It was an Ann Taylor wool blend dress. Chocolate brown and I felt perfect for an outdoor October wedding.
The mother of the bride……perfect example of mean/nice girl.
Her: “Hello, I’m so glad you are here!”
Ok….good so far.
She was surrounded by her friends, that literally were looking me up and down……she came in for the hug and said……”You are wearing brown? I told you that I would be wearing cocoa????” (insinuating I had copied her color, which I had no clue she would be wearing…the dresses were nothing alike)
Then…Her: “Hmmmm……That is a pretty wool blend (perfect veiled nice/mean comment) I hope you won’t be warm tonight wearing it so early in the fall.” Then saying…..”You look so cozy”….with a little smile. Then turned to her friends and laughed.
And left me standing there…….surrounded by “her friends”………
I felt like a dork. I felt like her friends felt I had copied her and was dressed for arctic conditions.   I barely knew her.
But her comment was made to intimidate me to make herself feel better. I knew though, at my age, what that comments intentions were. I made that woman feel intimidated. I looked good…she knew it….but she wanted to make me feel inadequate.
It worked….but I faked it really well and went off to laugh my way through the night.
And last night……the arrows were zinging, zinging, zinging at my baby girl.
People…….IT TICKS ME OFF.
Why can’t girls be nice?
I can’t wait until my daughter can get to the age where they don’t make their target as often. Where she can let them bounce off and know that the person throwing the darts is doing so because they are insecure. That she can see them for what they are for.
And handle them more maturely….like me.
As for me, I am going to toilet paper this girls house, saran wrap her car and put a mean/nice girl sign in her yard.
Maturely.
Ok, I won’t. But dannnnnng if I don’t want to………..MEANIE!
Ok, now that I have babbled my head off, I will only share a few recaps so you don’t need two hours to read this post.
I left off in the middle of a busy summer month.

JUNE
One of the neat finds from a thrift store was a “Will Moses” print. I had no clue if it had real value and Jan, an awesome art loving reader, shared their studio information. I emailed them and told them about my posts and the piece of art I had obtained and asked if they knew the value.
One of my most popular post ever. It is the one that is like top of the google search. Who woulda’ thunk it?
I also posted the “How to flip furniture on Craigslist” series. Which had a fun popular response.
JULY
I have NEVER had as many clicks on a post about food except for this one.
I titled it…..“Your butt will never have looked so good”.  I used this photo to share it on parties…..Maybe that is why? Popular recipe. I have readers still commenting on this recipe and how it is now a family favorite.
I will leave you there.
I have toilet paper to gather, saran wrap to buy and mean/nice girl signs to make.
Have any suggestions for my daughter?
Had any experience regarding?
Have you experienced even as an adult?
Care to help and share?
Want to toilet paper her house with me?
I would love to hear your thoughts.
I will chit chat tomorrow and pick up where I left off. I have to hurry with this recap before the new year starts!
Love,
Me

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