Freebird

Just a fyi……

Freebird is doing really well.

Many of you are new to the blog, so if you would like to read more about my daughter you can do a search under Freebird.

She is still in her first apartment.

Remember the move? (One of my most read posts)

AND

I would like to clarify. When I said one of our daughters is pregnant for the first time, in this weeks post…..

It is not her.

Just so you know.

Thank you gracious Lord.

Although she will make a wonderful mommy one day…..she is not ready to embark on that adventure just yet.

Thank you gracious Lord, again.

Which leads me to what I wanted to share.

It is the time in obtaining her degree in Psychology where she has to have 180 hours interning in a field where psychology is used.

Her degree has been a struggle. She has found out that in order to really “do anything” with her degree she will HAVE to have her masters.

Ugh.

So…that was an eye opener and created a slew of life questions. So fun…….

But, back to interning.

The real world. The grown up world has been hitting her pretty hard lately.

Worry about student loans.

Worry about getting a second job.

Worry about graduating in time.

And then comes the internship.

She called me the other night after her first day at her interning job.

I could immediately hear it in her voice.

“Mom”.

“Hey baby girl.”

“Hey Mom.”

“You sound tired.”

“I am. Mom…..I felt like since I have been out on my own that I had really ‘seen the world’, that the ‘blinders were taken off’ but mom……..what these kids have been through…..”

Her struggle to speak. Her struggle to be calm……they were as clear as if I were standing in the room with her.

Her world had just been given another reality check.

And she proceeded to share some of the children’s stories, without names or faces….just their stories.

Stories so brutally damaging that I wouldn’t even be able to write them to you.

For their precious sakes.

And it is all these children know.

All they have ever known.

And they live these stories day in, day out.

And right now….my baby girl is learning how to help them heal.

Her heart is heavy.

So heavy.

And being grown up….growing up….is peeling away layers of my little girls innocence.

I want to be proud.

I want to encourage her.

I want to ask her to please move back home.

But if I did…..she would never be able to seek Gods plan and will for HER life.

I want to protect her.

But if I do she won’t learn how to seek the Protector.


I want to provide for her forever.

But if I do she will never experience the miracle of seeing her needs and wants met by the Almighty Provider.

I want to find her work in a place where she isn’t weighed down by the pain of others.

But if I do….who would lead them to healing?

I know the layers of youth must be peeled away.

And I know that she needs to know…… that when it feels I am far away………..

I am.

I know that. Because I had to let go…….and it killed me.

But I did let go.

So she could see that there is One that will never leave her side.

And I am seeing her drawing closer to Him.

My baby girl.

Father. Protect her. Give her the knowledge and wisdom needed to help those that evil has touched and broken. May her words heal. May her heart lead and her ears listen to what they say and hear the truth in what needs to be heard. I gave her to You. Remember? Carry her through this part of her life Lord. Even if just for a bit. She is tired and scared….and she is still my little girl. As the river above carried her when she never dreamed of a day like this…carry her now. Direct her path as the current directed her then. Give her the peace and comfort of knowing you are carrying her. Give her peace and comfort to help her in the field that she is in. May she begin to see Your plan emerge. I pray this with a mothers heart. In Jesus name. Amen……..

Love,

Me

0 thoughts on “Freebird

  • February 3, 2012 at 1:23 pm
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    i am really glad i didn’t have my mascara on yet. yikes….a mother’s heavy heart seeing the last bit of innocent youth being replaced by the reality of the world. you are an amazing Mom for having such insight. your daughter will comfort many with her knowledge and compassion. may we all learn to lean and rely on Him for our strength, guidance, understanding and love, so we may make the world a better place. Such a lovely post. Thanks for sharing. hugs.

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  • February 3, 2012 at 8:48 pm
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    She is right, to really be entrenched in her field she will need a masters degree. And in the meantime, she will be interning and working towards licensure hours in a field that can be very dark and disturbing. I have worked in Mental Health for many years. I have worked at an agency that needed mediators to stand between runaway teens and the somtimes horrific things that happen to them at home, I have worked at a residential treatment center for severely abused children were I worked with teams of people whos goal was to “heal” these kids from unthinkable acts you only hear about in movies. Things people cant even fatham and think, “that doesn’t happen in real life”. Small, innocent children and your heart breaks everytime you go to work. When in those positions, a bittersweet moment comes when your skin thickens and you become numb as a coping skill to deal with such trauma. It is the only way the “healers” can continue to show up to those jobs everyday. There is a overwhelming urge to flee and guilt of having that urge all at the same time. However, only special people can work in those situations and be those “healers”. And even those people sometimes think they cant/arent doing it well. But God is using them to take care of the needy and therefor you somehow get filled up again. And when the time comes that it is not her turn to be his vessel of healing for those children, he will open another door. And the life experience and the pain and guilt and the emotional challenge will have been totally worth it. She will learn so much and grow so much. I currently work for a Christian counseling group and I thank god everyday for all the experience he has given me to do my current job that I love so much! I am good at my job because I experienced all of those things. Tell her not to feel guilty for not appreciating her childhood as much as she now thinks she should have. People have to be healthy to heal others and had she not had that good upbringing, she wouldnt be healthy enough to help other people. I have no advise on what it feels like as a mom to watch your freebird fly as I am just now experiencing that with my own daughter. But, it is hard and we have to have faith!

    Reply
  • February 3, 2012 at 9:02 pm
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    Bless your heart….and Freebird’s. God will be there for her…and you. You both will be in my prayers.

    (and on a selfish note….kinda nice to read this……you sound more like your ‘old’ self. Before you got famous! Love you, either way.)

    Reply
  • February 3, 2012 at 9:15 pm
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    That is the most heartfelt, beautiful and loving prayer. I am so touched by your love for your daughter and your love and faith in Him.

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  • February 3, 2012 at 10:00 pm
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    What a beautiful, heartfelt prayer, I join you in it. It’s wonderful to have the confidence in her faith and, of course, wonderful for her to have that faith that never lets you go. She’s in a tough field, where she’ll see so much suffering. I have a young friend who is a social worker and her first job was probably similar to Freebird’s internship. The Lord protected her and He will Freestyle from physical harm or danger, but not from the pain a good therapist has to know something about. You’re justly proud of her. So good she can call you like that, not all young women have that relationship with mom.

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  • February 4, 2012 at 1:20 am
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    I have no words….I am truly speechless. My oldest is a freshman in college. I want to protect and shelter her sooooo much. Thank you for sharing your beautiful prayer. It came at just the right time! 🙂

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  • February 10, 2012 at 2:02 am
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    My sweet precious girl is only 7, but we went through something a few years back that felt like it was going to rip my heart right out of my chest! My husband and I went to counsel with a Godly man in our church and he shared something with me that will stay with me for the rest of my life. He said our children can not stay innocent forever but through Him they can stay pure! Praise God for those words. They were healing to my soul. This world is fallen and broken and full of sin, but I know and am persuaded the He is able to keep that which I’ve committed unto Him against this day.;)
    Serah

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